Somebody once told me if they didn't know me personally they would think that I have everything together , they would believe I didn't go through some of the obstacles I faced and they would believe nothing was wrong me. I was once told I was strong and optimistic because I was able to juggle 1,000 task at once; putting nothing out but positive energy out to the world even when I inhaled  negativity. This person said all these wonderful things about me with no realization that I am the most unorganized , indecisive and insecure person. The 1,000 task I take on make me feel I'm all over the place ,driving me insane and I encounter the most crazy things daily. It isn't until now that I somewhat figured out ways to cope and understand the meaning life along with my purpose here on Earth. I reached a point where understanding the principles of life became more important to me than anything someone else has going on, along with the things that didn't benefit me.  Despite the feelings I felt going through my most difficult times I'm grateful to have been blessed with such tragedies because it molded me into the person I am today. NO I'm not still not perfect and YES I'm still going through things but my hardest times made me appreciate the better days. I'm alive which gives me the upper hand in any situation I occur , good or bad. I know realize life is too short to live for anybody else but you. After changing my mindset and access to people and things not good for me I felt freedom. I felt dead before giving life to things that drained me; I finally stopped and now I'm alive. Again I'm far from perfect, I still make mistakes, there's still places I want to go , mental strategies I want to reach and goals I want to achieve. However I'm more certain I will now because I changed how I deal with the negative things around me and started giving myself more credit for the things I already accomplished, instead of focusing on what I didn't. If nobody is proud of me , I am.